Today with all the technology around us we can communicate in seconds by sending a message directly through our smartphone, and this has caused us to forget what it is to have a real conversation. Many couples from the beginning of their relationship do not learn how to talk, and when the time to start a home comes, this factor can be the root of many problems.
Maybe our parents were happy with a vacation at the beach and good conversation once a year, but that does not mean that today’s couples should be satisfied if they do the same. Yoram Yasur Abt: Here we give you some advice for making sure not to fall in the habit of not communicating correctly:
The image of a father hidden after the newspaper and a mother weaving was not just a stereotype; it was something that really happened in thousands of homes. This happened as it was very difficult to make the couple, especially the man, talk about their marriage. To avoid making this mistake is essential to date. Although this may seem silly, you should have a date at least once a week to talk at least an hour without interruption. Set aside time to go for a cup of coffee, dinner or just a walk.
If this advice is ignored, when an important issue to talk about arises, you will find it harder to because of the lack of practice.
In addition to speaking, it is also essential to learn to listen. If you think that your partner doesn’t talk much, maybe it’s because you are not listening. The man, in particular, tends to propose immediate solutions to the couples problems. The best advice is to hold back and listen because the person that wants to talk usually already has a solution in mind and just wants us to listen. After carefully listening, we can also give our opinion and agree with the solution, or find another one that suits both parts.
Talking is a more complicated art that we imagine. So you have to eliminate some bad habits that hinder the free and sincere exchange of ideas. Yoram Yasur Abt: If you manage to talk, listen, and control these bad habits, you and your partner will be on the way to having a healthy communication and strengthening your relationship:
- Not saying what you really think
- Continually changing the subject
- Complaining about the other instead of dealing with the problem
- Nagging, this is to tell your partner how to behave, not how you feel.
- Thinking you are a smarty that knows everything
- Being sarcastic or patronizing
- Critics that blame the other person for our feelings.