When you become a parent most likely you are going to hear advice from many people on how to raise your child and it’s up to you to follow or not the advice, and in the end the main goal is to raise children not only obedient, but happy. Most parents are so concerned about their children that they don’t allow them to make their own mistakes; they get into their lives and seek to overly protect them from possible difficulties in the world around them. Nobody said parenting is easy, but there are some tips that can help you in raising happy children. Remember is about preparing them for the road, not walking it for them.
– Giving children everything they want: Most of us try to be a perfect mother or father. Many of our children live in better conditions than ourselves lived when we were their age so we want to satisfy every whim they might have. Yoram Yasur Abt: “The problem is that children begin to have the impression that the world revolves around them and when they don’t receive what they want to they feel a great sadness, to say the least. We must not give in to our children, we must love them. For us they are largely the center of the universe, but they should not perceive it that way or otherwise they’ll grow up to be selfish. Sometimes not getting what they want here and now is norma”l.
– Not letting them be children: The happier the childhood, the happier the child will be as an adult. The most effective way to take away the right to be a child from your kid is to fill them with household duties, extracurricular academic activities, music lessons, language courses, sports, etc. Don’t forget that they have a right to be children, not adults in a small body.
– Making decisions for your child: Of course, we want our children to not make mistakes, and of course we want them to thank and respect the fact that we want to give them a better life. Yet the problem of a child under these circumstances is that they can’t think on their own and can fall into one of two extremes: can’t make the simplest decisions without your opinion or they begin to forget that permissiveness is not normal. Yoram Yasur Abt: “Don’t make decisions for your child or tell them who they should be: that is the opposite of showing love, and love is necessary”.
– Parenting competition: Every parent wants their son to be better or out stand others. Some parents are so obsessed with competition that their offspring begin to see life as an endless competition. But life is not really just sweat and struggle; life is also the happiness of enjoying the moment. The best thing to do is instill in your child the idea that winning is not all that matters, much less by any means. A person is defined by its character, not by the amount of its victories.
– Acts are more important than words: We all want to look ideal to our children and we know that for them to grow smart and caring we must give the example ourselves; but most of us forget that values education also works only if we ourselves act in ways that reflect these values. So the next time you go to scold your child for not respecting their elders, ask yourself if they saw a similar behavior in you.
– Underestimating their character: Each child has their own character and their own conscience (or moral compass). Those two things mean a lot more to them than your attempts to turn them into an ideal person. Don’t try to raise your child according to what you read in a book or even what you read in these lines. Every child needs and deserves a parenting that fits them well. The most important thing to keep in mind is to take care of their character. The only chance you have to allow your son forge is to give them more freedom. Don’t hide your child from the real world. Your love shouldn’t be a prison.
– Forgetting about your life: We are proud of our children, when something important goes well we feel happier than if it happened to us, but there is a limit to everything. You also must have your own life and your own successes. The children need a good example to imitate; become that example. If you want your child to live a full life, you live it too.